


But this is

by nicefinalbeam (sparkleboom)



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Album Debut Anniversary, Dorks, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 09:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5042545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkleboom/pseuds/nicefinalbeam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Jun and Aiba's first (and second) kiss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But this is

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you [](http://tangiblewhimsy.livejournal.com/profile)[tangiblewhimsy](http://tangiblewhimsy.livejournal.com/) for holding my hand because I'm a huge scaredy-cat most of the time.

The tears are embarrassing - big, fat wet ones that roll heavily down his cheeks and cause snot to gather dangerously at his nostrils. The kiss, however, is everything perfect he never thought to dream. This moment with Jun, for Aiba, is spectacularly real.

It's not unusual for him to get emotional about the journey they took together, from the overwhelming uncertainty of debut to their present day success. Aiba has only ever been grateful for this experience, and not exactly the part about being famous either (though it's kind of a plus). He's thankful for being with Arashi, the four people he might not have been close to without the group. Knowing their hard work has made so many people happy makes Aiba happy too. Sometimes when Aiba feels the full weight of that happiness he's just got to cry or kiss somebody. Ohno, probably. Nino once or twice.

But this is very, very different. It's never been Jun he's kissed, but it's _always_ been Jun in his heart. So there's that.

There's also the way Jun cups his cheek and closes his eyes, like the sound of shouting juniors and the atmosphere of a far too tiny table splattered with beer is somehow romantic. Jun could probably make any kiss romantic by default - his very existence is romantic to Aiba - but there's intent in the press of his lips tonight.

 _We're drunk_ , Aiba thinks, but it's hard to reconcile that belief with how aware he is of everything. The rhythm of his increased heartbeat, for example. Or, the way Jun's nose lightly bumps his own before the warmth of his mouth is suddenly gone.

"There," Jun says as he pulls back, hand moving quickly from Aiba's face to the glass of beer he'd been nursing for a while now. "Maybe not the best distraction technique, but at least my eyes are dry again."

Jun's still crying, actually, but Aiba doesn't point that out.

"If I wasn't in Arashi, if I didn't have my passport that time..." Aiba starts, then pauses so he can find the right words. He's told everyone how lucky he feels, but he has something in particular he needs to express this time. Not about the five them, but about the two of them.

"I know," Jun jumps to fill the silence, "But you did have it! And here we are, drunk and crying and kissing like idiots. This will definitely be one of those interview stories."

It will be.

It's the story of the time Aiba kissed Jun, or maybe the other way around, and had "no idea" why. Very disappointingly for Aiba, it's _not_ the story of when Aiba confessed his deep and unwavering affection and love for Jun, who then returned his feelings entirely.

 

 

... But this is:

 

Aiba can see that something isn't quite right with Jun today. Exhaustion is fairly typical with how busy their schedules can get, but it's easy to push limits and Jun looks like he might be at his already. Not that Jun doesn't know how to take care of himself, of course. They've been at this a long time and he's a responsible adult, but Aiba's brain isn't usually the one thinking for him when it comes to Jun. So like it or not, he worries. Reasonable or not, he insists on sharing a car with Jun when filming is over.

He confirms that something's up when Jun doesn't question it.

"Colds should stay in winter where they belong," Jun tells him as he moodily adjusts his sunglasses.

The cute pout on his face is distracting, but Aiba manages to convey his sympathy with a friendly pat on the upper back. When Jun's head droops and hovers near Aiba's shoulder, he risks sliding his hand up a bit further to the base of Jun's neck. Aiba's good with massages and he wants to help, that's all. Jun's soft grunt makes him think he's eased some tension, and he smiles to himself as the car pulls up in front of them.

They climb into the far back, even though there are two perfectly good seats in the middle. Aiba can keep a closer eye on Jun when they're sharing the backseat like this. He can pretend to take Jun's temperature by pressing the back of his hand to Jun's forehead, and click his tongue like he understands what he feels at all.

It seems there's more to Jun's weary demeanor than a cold, even though Aiba can hear his sniffling. Jun answers a question Aiba didn't vocalize when he stretches and says, "Miyagi. I'm afraid it'll all be a mess."

Aha.

"Hawaii wasn't!" Aiba points out.

"Hawaii sort of was," Jun responds with a quiet laugh.

He's not wrong about that, actually. Aiba wouldn't have changed a thing about their anniversary, but it hadn't been entirely smooth. Outdoor concerts were nothing if not unpredictable, and coordinating it all with such a short amount of time on site hadn't been easy. Some things had been troublesome, and there were things that could cause problems this time too. Aiba just doesn't want to see Jun be hard on himself for it. Thanks to his efforts, Hawaii had still been a huge success!

"Miyagi will be different," Aiba reassures him. Struck with sudden inspiration, he pulls out his phone and scrolls through his recent photos. When he finds what he wants, he grins from ear to ear and holds the device out for Jun to see. "Miyagi has socks!!"

He expects Jun to make a comment on them, or maybe laugh at him and smack his head. Instead Jun is eerily quiet, a nod of his head the only acknowledgment that he'd seen the picture at all. Aiba doesn't know what to make of it, and is still trying to think of a way to cheer Jun up a little when the car stops. Jun's place.

"Stay a bit."

Aiba's eyes widen in surprise, but Jun looks to be completely serious.

"Stay a bit, if that's okay. I want to see some more of your designs."

Aiba's not sure if he's in trouble now, and does his best to sound suspicious when he replies, "Okay, but only if you promise not to change them all on me."

Jun makes no such promise, but he does make an excellent pasta dish. Aiba wonders if that's because he feels obligated to make pasta now that he knows he can, or if he's just trying to play nice. Either way, it's a lot of effort to go to when he's not feeling his best, and Aiba appreciates every mouthful. And once he's cleared his plate, he appreciates what's left on Jun's plate too.

"If one of us were sick, you wouldn't tell us to drink wine as a cure," Aiba mentions as they both sip from a second glass. He would have never guessed that Jun would be okay with drinking wine on his expensive sofa, but maybe he's that out of his head tonight. "Why don't you have tea or something?"

Jun shrugs and keeps browsing the photos on Aiba's phone. He likes the colors of the goods, Jun says, and Aiba agrees. But more than the colors, Aiba likes the socks, and this time when he says so he gets Jun's laugh to fill the entire room.

Jun is unapologetic as he continues swiping even after the Miyagi design photos end. They scoot closer together so Aiba can explain things here and there as they pop up in his camera roll. There's not much to look at, really. Snapped pictures from unfamiliar places he parked so he wouldn't forget later, a picture of his niece from the holidays, some of the meals he ate from various places on tour.

There's one poorly lit picture of one such meal, but in Tokyo. In November. It's from _that_ night.

"You tell that story a lot," Jun says casually.

He does.

"I think about it a lot," Aiba responds. He's more nervous than he sounds when he continues, "It's one of my favorite things to ever happen. Even though it didn't end up how I wanted."

Aiba feels a shiver go through him when Jun licks his lips, like he's thinking about it. Like he's remembering the taste of Aiba now. Is it a good memory? No matter how many times Aiba has brought it up before, Jun never seems to say much about it. Except to confirm it, which is at least a small relief. Aiba would feel _really_ weird if he'd dreamed it all up after too much to drink.

"Why not?" Jun asks.

Aiba frowns, takes a deep breath, and considers how honest he wants to be. Worst case scenario is possibly ruining Arashi forever. A level below that is maybe... an awkward six months to a year and a mutual understanding that they'll never speak of this again. Jun cares about Arashi too much for the worst case to happen, and Aiba can live with the other options.

So.

"I'm in love with you, and I wanted to say so. I was going to say it then. I guess I'm sort of saying it now."

Aiba's heart travels from his chest up to his throat, with a little bit of tomato sauce too. His hands are shaking slightly and his face is getting hot, but that's okay. Because Jun hasn't rejected him just yet, and the nerves are as hopeful as they are terrified.

"You didn't have to say it," Jun tells him, and before Aiba gets more flustered, Jun takes the wine glass from his hand and places it with his own on the coffee table. There's nothing between them now. "I knew it. I know it? I know."

Aiba has so many questions. He doesn't know which one to ask first. _Why_ is probably the best option, but Jun's eyebrows furrow in distress and he speaks up again before Aiba can cut in.

"I love you too. I thought that maybe after I panicked that night and ruined things, the opportunity might have passed to tell you. I've been trying to feel things out, but we've been so busy and... maybe I was still panicking a little."

Aiba knows that there are a lot of things he should do with this information. He should ask Jun why he's been panicking when clearly he already knew that rejection wasn't going to happen (in truth, Aiba understands that there are a lot of reasons to panic - from gossip papers to the stability of a long held friendship). He should keep the deeper conversation going, reveal his own personal struggles with the revelation of OH, JUN IS MY ONE TRUE LOVE. Maybe he should even tell Jun they can create a new opportunity for this, another time, when Jun isn't under the weather and Aiba isn't about to pass out from shock.

Maybe he should, but he doesn't.

Instead, he pokes Jun's cheek with his index finger and laughs.

"Hey! We're in love! Why do you look so sad about it?"

Relief rushes through him when Jun begins to laugh too, soft and indignant at first, then loud and carefree.

"Why did _you_ look sad about it! You were the one setting the mood here!" Jun defends himself with a light shove and a raise of his eyebrows.

"No, I was confessing, and you were being grumpy," Aiba argues, returning the shove with one of his own. He tries to hold back his continued laughter as he tilts his head in what he hopes in an intimidating fashion.

"No, you were being upset you didn't confess before and making me feel bad about it too, punk!"

Aiba knows exactly where this is going as he tilts his head the other way and grumbles about Jun's impolite behavior and the lack of respect for his feelings. He's not sure what Jun is saying in his protest anymore, but his heart soars as they meet in the middle, lips lingering in a soft and loving kiss.

It's better than the first kiss. It's the second kiss - the kiss that promises more kisses, the kiss he never needs to talk about because it's no longer strange and new.

And also because Jun explicitly warns him _'Do not tell a soul we resorted to_ that _for this_ ' before pulling him into his lap.

Aiba grins as he crosses his fingers behind his back and agrees.


End file.
